The facts:

it will require that spam be truthful

Well, heaven forbid spam was a LIE in the first place. So, now headers have to be accurate. Well, woohoooo!!!!!!! Who the hell cares about “headers”? I sure don’t! In fact who’s going to enforce this? The header police? Are they going to come up and say “I’m sorry, but I need to see your headers before you send your email now“?

It would also forbid senders of commercial e-mail from disguising themselves by using incorrect return e-mail addresses or misleading subject lines, and sets criminal penalties for those who do.

Once again, Woo bloody hoo!!! I mean, really now. What does this do? Not a damn thing folks. Who is going to enforce this? Nobody, it’s UNENFORCABLE. What, are you going to require each and every person sign a statement for email attesting to the fact that this is in fact them? Not going to happen. So how in the bloody HELL do you plan on stopping this?

This is the kicker:

Who would enforce these provisions? The federal law does not allow individual e-mail users to sue spammers. Instead, the Federal Trade Commission (FTC), other federal agencies, Internet Service Providers , and state attorneys general can sue on behalf of Internet users

So, John Doe from Alabama spams me and I am no longer allowed to sue John Doe from Alabama (sorry, if there really is a John Doe in Alabama, I was using you figuratively). According to law signed into place for the state of Iowa, I am. Yet according to those on the hill, I’m not? Why in the bloody hell should those on the hill get paid for spam that I receive in the first place? THAT is taking away rights right there people. Can we say “joke”?

Wait, it gets better!

Under the new law, consumers can choose to “opt out” of receiving it. Spammers will be required to provide an “opt out” mechanism within the email itself.

Well goodie goodie goodie. So, now all someone has to do to be “legal” according to the good old United States legal system is throw an “opt out” link into email. Wonderful. Wait! How long have these people been using email? How long have they been using the internet?

Anyone with half a brain knows that you NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER click “opt-out” links. Why? Simple really. Those opt-out links lead to other emails and more spam and in many cases simply verify “Yes, joe blow does have this address”, not even removing you from the list. Great!

So, how do we really remove spam, ehh? Screw what the government says, because obviously they know jack all about the internet. I mean, what is the US going to do to some jackass spamming me from Taiwan, mexico, China, Portugal, The Netherlands or Brazil?

There are numerous solutions to eliminating the threat of spam, really.

A> Don’t click on the links in spam emails! This should be first grade stuff here people. You make spam not worthwhile and it’ll go away. If nobody clicked on those links, then nobody would spam you. Don’t say you don’t, because I know those offers for “Full software at OEM prices” really actually look good. I mean, in many cases, they’re 50%+ off of what the original software costs. The downside? Yet another victim of the spam empire.

B> Use ’smart’ email. Forget Outlook and Outlook Express. These are the most insecure email clients known to man. Use something like Pocomail, encourage those that support spam filters, forget Microsoft’s crappy software. Unless, that is, of course you WANT your email address delivered to everyone by you simply clicking on an email.

C> Use RBL’s
Real Blackhole lists work like a charm. The biggest one in the US is right to the left here, yeah, the one that says Spamcop! These guys work relentlessly to help keep email safe, or, at least try to. RBLs will cut your spam down a good chunk, if they’re configured correctly.

D> Get on your ISP!
Your isp is the individual tolerating these spammers. In fact, if it weren’t for their tolerance of them, then , well, there would be no spam. Unfortunately, the almighty $ rules again.

E> Rewrite SMTP protocols.
Is it REALLY that hard to rewrite and require SMTP protocols to authenticate BEFORE you send the mail? I don’t think so. In fact, most are doing this now. Unfortunately not enough are, and it’s still very easy to send spam out. How do I mean rewrite smtp settings? Simple, really:

Theoretically mail should work like this:
User connects to SMTP server
SMTP server verifies “Yes, your domain is here” and allows the mail to pass through
OR
SMTP server sees “No, your domain is NOT hosted on this server” and rejects the mail.

Really, now if EVERY ISP in the world handled email like that (and yes, I’m talking about you kiddie hosts too), then we’d all be a much better place.

So, how do we force ISP’s to do this?
Again, simple, really:
Instead of fining the users who are never caught (or rarely are anyways), you fine the ISP’s. No question about it. Spam caught from your server? I’m sorry, but you just encurred a $50k fine. Yes people, THIS would involve ISP’s changing policies, and it would bring the ISP’s right around pretty damned quick.

Sadly, it’s looking like the only valid responses to spam are either RBLs (which unfortunately CAN reject valid email) or White/Black lists, which are no good either. Granted, with white/black lists you actually end up getting mail that was sent originally, but you get a crapload of pissed off customers (or friends) because they want to email you.

Responsibility people. Learn it, live it, love it, use it. The internet isn’t a TOY, it’s an international network connecting individuals from point a to point b. As such, we don’t need more LOCAL legislation, but GLOBAL legislation, a organization that these individuals are held accountable to (the ISP’s AND the spammers), one that is not going to look out for AOL, TW, Linux Tech Networks, Microsoft, or any other corporation (or individual) ahead of the next.

Pipe dreams, I know, but it is the only way to stop this madness we call spam.

Parts of todays entry were taken from CNN’s comments on the “Can Spam” legislature, and used in context. The rest is all mine. Please, people, use the internet responsibly.

TJW