Aug

14

What’s love got to do with it?

By Tom Whiting 1 views

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Relationships are good, in fact they’re wonderful. However, they’re not to be taken or entered into lightly. A lot of stuff needs to be factored in, such as "Are we anything alike", "How will we handle each other" ,"Am I ready for this relationship", "Do we have anything in common" and "Will this work?"

While nobody knows the answer to the last one, generally , a good assessment can be made from the first few questions as to how the last one will be answered.

A relationship is not a "life". You don’t enter a relationship to gain yourself a life, no matter what anyone else may think (Andi). You don’t enter into a relationship to gain friends, you enter into a relationship to know someone better, possibly to further that relationship along at a (much) later date.

9 months ago, Mike hung out with friends, he did crazy shit, now, he’s so whipped he can’t think for himself. His idea of an evening now? "Oh, I’m going to hang out with Andi, just lay there". His idea of an evening before? "Dude, we need to watch this" or "Dude, we need to play this".

Why the drastic change? Because he’s got no balls. he can’t stand up to her and say "Listen *censored*, shut the *censored* up and quit your whining", which is what needs to be said most of the time to her. Grow a set and just ditch the *censored*. It’s not like you guys have anything in common. Hell, YOU and I have more in common (sorry man, not interested though, you’re a guy, I’m a guy, that shit is not for me ;)), but you’re so whipped you can’t fucking see it.

Reality check time here:

Andi
You need to quit relying on Mike for your life and friends. Get up the courage to go out there and get your own.
You do NOT need to be around Mike 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Get a damn clue here. You two aren’t married, and NEVER will be, unless you make some serious, drastic changes to your life.
You need to quit the whining, pissy attitude crap. Nobody likes it, and the next time I hear it, I’ll make the same comment I did last time. Grow the hell up! You’re 21 years old, not 5!
If you don’t like something, don’t be around it. Mike smokes, I smoke, Tony smokes, most of his FRIENDS smoke. Obviously, you don’t like smoking, so either don’t be around or quit fucking. Your constant, repeated fucking about smoking is insane.
Mike is not "YOUR thnugglemunkey" or your ANYTHING. He is a human being, and as such is not the property of any one individual. You may (for now) be in a relationship with him, but you need to quit the "my thnugglemunkey" and all that crap.
Mike has friends. Deal with it. Go out and get your own, rather than fuck that he spends time with THEM rather than you. Let him be, leave him alone, quit harassing him constantly.

Mike:
Grow a set of balls and lay the law down. You say "We’ve talked" but you don’t enforce anything. Come the hell on now, do you want to throw away lifelong friendships, or even friendships with people you’ve known over a year for some person who has no care about anything but her? She’s a selfish, spoiled individual who thinks of nothing but herself.
Your friends DO give a shit about you, man. We care enough about you to say something. You say that your last relationship went the same way with your friends, undoubtedly so, and this is probably the exact reason why.
Quit being so hypocritical. You know exactly what I mean, think about it. You’ve made comments about certain out of town individuals coming back and you not wanting to spend time with them because of their girlfriends, but you pull the same thing.

Love is certainly not this. In fact, love is just the opposite. True love doesn’t smother an individual, it comes over time, not 2 or 3 months, not even 6 months, but time, the time of knowing each other, spending with each other, getting to know each other truthfully, honestly over years.
Love accepts the fact that people have friends, that they have faults, and instead of fucking about them, it helps them work through them.
Love doesn’t "change" people, it adapts. It doesn’t mean that people have to make all kinds of change, while you make none, it means compromise on both sides.

In short:
What you two have is far from love, it’s convenience, it’s lust, it’s anything BUT love, and if you start looking at it as such (too late, I know you already have), then it will only cause more poblems in the future.

When it comes down to it, neither of you have anything in common at all. You knew each other two months (if that) before jumping into this fucked up relationship. Neither of you can see that though, because neither of you are looking for it.

FWIW:
Tony, you were right, I shouldn’t have allowed the use of my spare room for whatever they did in there. All that did was encourage it. Unfortunately, that’s in the past and can’t be redone. I wish it could, because I would gladly say "no" to that at this time, given the outcome of this.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m quite glad for the both of you, but you guys need to see what everyone else has seen and said for so fucking long that it’s pathetic. If you want this to work, you MUST change your outlook on this. If you don’t, keep going down the road you’re on. 6-12 months from now, it’ll end up dead in the water with a LOT of hurt on both sides.

I don’t say this to tear down anything at all, but to bring it back up. I always speak my mind, no matter how close I am to the individual, no matter how people may take it, quite honestly I don’t care, I never have. I’ve said this to Mike’s face, Andi hasn’t been around long enough to do so (and it’s not my responsibility to confront her on this crap, that’s his). I wish you two the best, but the road you are currently on is headed towards towards the worst, not the best.

G’luck