Now, see, I’m not a bad tenant, even the opposite, much to my credit. I put up with more shit than most would, including inaction from landlords when fellow "tennants" refuse to cooperate and coexist peacefully (usually, blaring music at 3, 4, 5am, waking me up, stomping up and down the stairs, slamming doors all night long), but sometimes you’ve just got to say enough is enough, and when I move, that’s about when I do.

See, for the past 2 years, I’ve been dealing exclusively with one individual from North Star Realtors here, locally, and that has been a complete and total nightmare. From being forced to move because of too many people in the house (yeah, well, I shoulda just kicked the damn deadbeets out) to being told "We’re not going to do anything" when repeatedly bringing up issues such as aforementioned neighbors blaring music all throughout the night. His response? "Call the police". Well, great, but the police won’t fix the problem long term. I swear, some people just have no clue how to run a business and keep clients effectively. Funny, very funny, but ok.

So, realizing that these assclowns had something to do with numerous moves over the past year, I decided to look elsewhere for my needs this time. Of course, doing an internet search for "waterloo, IA" and apartments doesn’t exactly work, I mean , well, it works but it’s not going to pull much of a result

The first place I looked at was decent, price was right ($390/month for 1 bedroom, plus $10/month for the cats), so I applied, got approved and will be signing the papers and a 1 year lease on Tuesday (something Calvin NEVER was able to provide, a long term lease, maybe that shoulda warned me right there). Hopefully I’ll be settled in and more than willing to renew the lease come September of next year!!! I doubt that I won’t though, because this place looks efficient and well run and managed, and Mike of all people has done business with these guys before and said they were excellent.

So, back to the old boxing, packing and moving thing. Every time I do this it costs me around 3-500 in various costs from truck costs to cable to whatever, it’s starting to get very very annoying. Hopefully this will be the last one for a very long time!

Am I a bad tennant? No.
DO I have a lot of demands? No. Simply put, all I need and want is to be left the hell alone, not disturbed and not to have to deal with constant parties, music and the like.
Is that unreasonable? Considering the fact that I’m more than willing to pay my rent on time (or by the 5th), I’d say no, it’s not. Rent has always been due by the 5th, I wonder what it’ll be due by here, may mean some adjustments, but I can live with that.

All in all, I consider myself a good person, a good customer. I repeatedly go back to the same business with my business (sometimes to my fault), I don’t call unless issues have come up that need addressing, and in most cases I don’t call at all, because I think it’s too damn trivial.

Anyways, work, packing, blech. Here’s to a much longer relationship with a reasonable landlord!

Cheers

The times we had, they go through my head every day,
one by one , recalling everything we’d ever say.
Unwanted, jarring, painful descriptions of the past it’s true,
yet somehow, I just feel wrong, being here without you.

The very thunder, such an odd yet beautiful thing,
reminds me of you, the way you’d listen to it sing.
Dancing, playing, carousing around, without a care at all,
all around , everything collapsing, you just let it take the fall.

To my heart, you are and will always be the one and only one,
the one who it will love until it’s time on earth is done.
Yet I know though sadly that we will never be,
a choice you made, toss out the old, yes, that was me.

I was there, in the trash you tossed away, with the lies you told
I was there, in the can you took out, simply because it was too old.
Every day, your memory comes back to me, in one way or another,
yet every day your choice comes back, to run away forever.

Where to this time, or who to, to be precise?
Who did you find to take you in, you with all your lies?
Will you stay with him, or throw him away so you can be free?
Will he too be affected by all these Memories?

For Michelle

© August 1, 2003 TJW

A stand taken knowing feelings, on all sides,
yet a stand taken, even right in your own eyes.
A love just thrown away, never to be seen again,
a friendship tossed out the door, what a true "friend".

My heart it cries and aches for you every single day,
screaming "Bring her back, please, just find a way".
Yet, the time has come to say farewell, your return nowhere in sight,
A love you lost, what gave you the right?

What gave you the right to lie, to throw my feelings to the very wind,
to constantly throw me away over and over again?
The pain, the agony, I’d never wish on any other one,
yet your insensitivity, whatever made me think you were "The One"?

Yet, you were, the very one, and my heart still knows it’s true,
the one tho who my very heart will remain true to.
Sadly, none other can walk in and ever take your place,
Always, remembering, looking back fondly on those days.

Those days alone, you and me, nothing said, just the presence of each other,
never wanting, never needing anything, a feeling like no other.
A bond we’ve had, yet thrown away, time and time again,
What a fine way to treat your "friend".

Whatever did I do so wrong to turn you against me?
Whatever did I do to you, can you not see?
Anything you asked, I gave, would have given my very all for your love
Yet, when it came down to it, my heart got the shove.

Selfish, the only word that I can think of that relates to how you are
thinking only of yourself, never the people you leave afar.
Carelessly throwing yourself away, looking forward, with no regrets,
you care only for yourself, not the people you forget.

Sadly, you will never see this, hear my true thoughts, feel my true pulse,
your actions made clear you think of yourself, not anyone else.
The time spent with you, was nothing but a waste,
The sacrifices made unappreciated, you threw away your taste.

You had a taste of love, chosing to throw it away instead,
your choice, careless as it may be, someday you will regret.
Who else would have gone and done the things I have for you?
The things I have given, done for your love, who knew?

Who knew that you would do what you went and did to me,
taking my heart, chewing it up and spitting it out, not caring to see.
Not seeing, nor caring what you’ve done, or will ever do again.
As I said, what a way to treat your "friend".

Farewell, my love, my heart will always remain in your hands, no matter how hard I try
I try daily to recover the loss, the love, but all I can do is sigh.
Sigh for the loss, for the love that was carelessly thrown away without a care,
knowing that you threw away the only one who would every truly be there.

For Michelle

© July 13th, 2003 TJW

Often times ignored, feeling battered and bruised
kep locked up to keep from being abused.
Stepped on, taken out too early one too many times
memories locked away, cherished, forever mine.

Memories of good and bad forever remain
inside this box laying there for her to claim.
Her who holds the key to this treasure inside
the one willing to work it out, through the long ride.

Not just any key will work, this treausre unique,
but only one, her this treasure will keep.
this journey continues onwards, toward forever,
another day is gone, forgotten? Will be, never.

The memory locked away with all the rest, unleashed someday
by that onee, dedication, assurance it will be okay.
Until then, buried deep inside, kept alone,
for that certain time when my heart it feels at home.

Closer, daily, this rocky road leads me there,
to the one with when forever I will share.
The key unknown, held by her only,
could it be true? Can this heart truly be free?

© 2000 TJW

The journey from here, though frightful
can be the most beautiful and wonderful thing.
Two hearts, two lives drawn so tight and close,
happiness and joy, this can only bring.

My friend, to you I make this true and solemn vow,
true friendship , us two will always find.
No matter the future, the paths that it may lead,
your life has found its way into mine.

One day with you, my life does a complete turn,
each day completely different from the last.
A joyful and wonderful experience knowing you is,
why would I ever want to forget that?

Who knows what tomorrow may bring,
but today?s already brought me so much more
Your touch, your presence in my life,
it’s so very worth being there for.

Always ahead, never behind,
for the past is so deep and very dark.
Forever, my dear is a very long time,
but you’ve come that close to my heart.

Forever, a friend in you I’ve surely found,
forever your touch will be on my heart.
Forever, you will be my friend,
forever, my dear, never shall we part.

© 2001 TJW

This life, this thing I’ve learned so well to hate,
for deep inside I know, I never will relate.
So different, so painfully different, from all of the rest,
reminded on a daily basis, for you, you are the best.

The best life has to bring, or so you think in your own kind,
yet what about the ones, like me, you always leave behind?
The ones lost in your wake, torn, spit up, chewed out,
the ones you pretend never existed, forgetting all about?

Is this all that life is?? A bunch of memories I’ll soon forget?
Or is there more? That answer, I’ve not seen yet.
What’s the sense in continuing, with a life as torn as mine?
What’s the sense in hoping, when what I want, I’ll never find?

A love, a live, without, a death,
so, now I draw another fleeting breath.
So much more to life, at least so I’ve been told,
yet where is it?? That lie is getting old.

Awakened each day, life becomes so much a chore,
continue living, breathing, do nothing more.
What else can be expected from my torn and broken soul,
is there anyone, anyone at all who dares make it whole?

Her love I’ve sought for so very very long,
yet never found, perhaps I never will belong.
Belong in this world of pain and misery,
where everyone’s an outcast, especially me.

Outcast, shunned, left with nothing but regret,
for what else is there in this world for someone so easy to forget?
Love?? A pipe dream, a reality I never truly will know,
Hate?? All a reality, all I’ve ever been shown.

Torn, ripped apart, my life, at a neverending pace,
just when one memory wears dim, another creeps up to take its place.
What’s the use in continuing, to get torn more every day,
for that is how life is, tears you up , each and every way.

Chews you up and spits you out, a hateful, cruel thing,
yet so very true, only pain can this life bring.
Pain so blinding it scares even my very heart,
a cold and darkened place which nobody wants a part.

This heart so chilled, so cold, so desperately reaching out,
yet rejected, continuously, forgotten all about.
Lied to, deceived, time and time again,
I crawl back in myself, tired of playing this game.

This game we call life, in which nobody can truly win,
only losers, walked over again and again.
So cold and chilled, this lonely heart of mine,
so torn and hurt, that’s all in me you’ll find.

A hurt which runs deep, deeper than any one person should feel,
yet, for this man, this pain, this sorrow, it is so very real.
A pain of loss, of love, so deep and agonizingly true,
such a torn and lost soul, wondering just what to do.

How to heal, how to grow, how to mend this broken life,
yet is there really any way to end this constant strife??
The battle wages on, yet the purpose completely lost,
for what’s the sense in life?? Only adding up more cost.

The cost my friend, more pain, more agonizing sorrow,
yet we must press on, live for another tomorrow.
Why must we live?? Why must we press on, can someone tell me this?
For if life’s so full of pain, why not embrace death’s kiss?

A love, a life, without, a death,
not even worth this very next breath.
A pain so real, so deep inside,
sometimes, I wish I could just say goodbye.

Goodbye to the pain, to the constant tearing,
goodbye to the hurt, to the constant caring.
Goodbye cruel world, for you’ve shunned me again,
goodbye for good, never again to feel your pain.
© TJW Sun Jun 24 14:18:28 CDT 2001

Her laugh, enough bring a smile to this one man’s face,
her words, enough to sooth the darkest of soul.
Her every sound, to me, an awesome wonder,
her voice, enough to make this one man whole.

Oh to wake up and hear that voice,
the thought, desire deep inside my head.
To wake up and look into her beautiful eyes,
and ne’r get out of bed.

Her voice, like nothing I’ve ever heard before,
simply amazes, chills right to the bone.
Something about her, calls out to me,
her voice, yes, that’s the one.

Oh to hear that voice whispering those precious words
words of love and passion, hunger and desire.
Oh to hear that voice proclaim my name again,
that voice just sets my heart on fire.

Much more than her voice,
her heart, her eyes, her all I love.
Yet her voice, that thing that sooths my very soul,
the one I’ve always been dreaming of.

© TJW 06/16/01

Every day with you, completely unique in itself,
another treasure learned, stored up in that shelf.
A shelf of memories, to which you are the key,
a shelf of treasures, shared between you and me.

Your friendship, my world, each and every day,
your paths cross mine in almost every way.
This magnetism, drawing us closer with every word,
slowly drawing us into each other’s world.
Unsure the future, my hand I put in yours,
together my dear, we shall open those doors.
Where they lead, only the future knows,
but as they’re opened this budding friendship grows.

To you, my dear, my life’s an open book,
for you, the past the present, all with just one look.
Where before, the boundaries have stood so long and still,
your touch, your presence, disolve them all you will.

© 06/03/01 TJW

She deserves so much better than I could possibly give to her,
yet she chose me, why my heart may never comprehend.
Any person, for her, would be so much better,
yet she still remains right here, holding onto my hand.

Is this what love is, understanding, lost, completely in another,
wanting everything in the world for that person, never feeling worthy?
When I think of her, one word comes to my mind: forever,
that’s how long I want to hold her, to keep her close, right next to me.

To wake up and hear her voice, to feel her breathing,
how I long for that day, for the time when we will be together.
In the depths of my mind, I know she is my very everything,
And that one word comes into my mind, yet again : Forever.

Forever by her side, forever holding her hand, forever with her,
eternity seems far too short of a time to spend with the one I love.
Yes love it is, it must be, of this I can very well be sure,
of her eyes, her voice, her touch, I will never ever get enough.

Often times, I read back on her Charismatic Collection of Prose,
marveling in its beauty, in its ability to touch me each and every time.
How long I have hungered, I have sought for this one and only love,
for her beauty, her heart, all are a very rare find.

How often I’ve wanted to reach through these barriers between us,
to take her hand, hold her close to me, and gently kiss her lips.
How long I’ve wanted to assure her that everything will be allright,
yet, time and space stand between the both of us, between our love.

My vow to her, to be there forever, untill she no longer wishes me,
for, her love is that true and unique treasure, the one I’ve been searching for.
Her love is that soothing, calming touch on an otherwise reckless day,
every bit I see leaves me craving for oh so much more.

© 01/02/02 TJW

Tragic, a loss such as this, in more ways than one,
the loss of someone who’s life had barely even begun.
It tears at the heart, tears at your very soul,
yet know that those tears will eventually be made whole.

My gift I give to you, in this, your hour of need,
tho not much at all, it’s all of me indeed.
A friend like you, so rarely ever found,
such a true and wonderful blessing to have you around.

More than mere words, the heart does long to hear,
yet in your head, your heart, the memory remains so near.
Memories of the times you had together, tho good and bad,
the love you shared, the bond that you both had.

Those memories, they carry on, deep inside of you,
each waking moment, remembering something else, something new.
Memories like treasures, to be cherished, held close and near,
for when tragic things happen, we will always hold them dear.

Memories, things that can’t even begin to take the place of love,
yet, when it comes to it, they’re often times enough.
Enough to carry us through yet another dreary day,
enough to help us see, to help us find our way.

Our way in this life, so often crowded, muddied and blurred,
we forget which way to turn, we often get hurt.
Yet, that voice, that memory guides us through the time,
through right and wrong, through whatever hardships we may find.

For you, my friend, I am here, always,
as your shoulder, a warm and loving embrace.
Though times seem hard right now, trust me, they will look up,
one day at a time, the memory leads us on, will always be enough.

My hand is yours, to guide you should you need,
my shoulder yours to cry on, as a true friend indeed.
My ear is yours, to talk to, to understand,
all of this I offer, as a true friend.

A friend

© TJW 08-23-2001