Requesting a Raise
By 1 views
(No Ratings Yet)
Loading ...I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
1. I do physical labor.
2. I work at great depths.
3. I plunge head first into everything I do.
4. I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
5. I work in a damp environment.
6. I don’t get paid overtime.
7. I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
8. I work in high temperatures, and my work exposes me to
contagious diseases.
Dear Penis,
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you
have raised, the administration rejects your request for the
following reasons:
1. You cannot work 8 hours straight.
2. You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods.
3. You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
4. You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen
visiting other locations.
5. You do not take initiative- - - you need to be pressured and
stimulated in order to start working.
6. You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your
shift..
7. You don’t always observe necessary safety regulations, such
as wearing the correct protective clothing.
8. You will retire well before you are 65.
9. You are unable to work double shifts.
10.You sometimes leave your designated work before you have
completed the assigned task.
11.And if that were not enough, you have been seen constantly
entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious
looking bags.
Sincerely,
The Management
